How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
