maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
