She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You made out with two different species that night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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