Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize