it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall