he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
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why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
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Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.