i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.