thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.