He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
