All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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