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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

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  29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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  21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I am one with the molecules

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed

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