dude i'm inner monologue high
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.