What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle