he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
