girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.