he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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