It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
