This is not my ceiling
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
