So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
