If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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