Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
