I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
