Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My balls are so social today.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
