it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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