If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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