there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
