I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
