obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
