SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
