just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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