I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
