she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
