i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
