I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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