I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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