mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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