Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
