if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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