Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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