Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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