Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize