Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
