you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
