im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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