watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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