Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
As shirtless as possible
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
