I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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