He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
