I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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