Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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