I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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