Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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