I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
