If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
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See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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