My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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