Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
