I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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