Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Sober January is a disaster.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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