I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
