I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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