He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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