that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
