she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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