i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
