Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
