worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
