Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
